A Dash of Talaxian Brew: A Story of True
Love
First of all, I would like to begin by saying that the characters
belong to Star Trek: Voyager. However, there is one notable exception, Jill Alexander.
However, I have changed Jill's last name to protect her from harm, persecution,
embarrassment, and the dreaded groupies.
Jill requested that I tell you these things before I let you read my story. She provided
these comments.
"I am NOT blonde!"
"I am NOT that clumsy!"
"I am NOT a drunk!"
All right. Fine. You are not blonde. But when I met you, Jill, you DID have blond
highlights.
No matter what you say, you are still a klutz. Big time. You may
not have yet broken a bone, but you still get a multitude of scrapes, bumps, and bruises.
As far as being a lush. Sorry. You get tipsy off a beer. I hold
my beverages better than you. Haha. So there.
Now for the story, "A Dash of Talaxian Brew."
Seven of Nine had refused his advances. Harry Kim hit his head on
the wall. Sighing, he rubbed his forehead.
"Oh, that hurt," he groaned.
He could barely see Seven of Nine now; her figure (and such a nice one it was) was
receding in the distance. She had told Harry that dates were irrelevant and that she
really needed to spend a night in her regenerator.
"Why me?" Harry asked the wall. "Why tonight?"
That evening, Neelix was throwing a Talaxian party in the mess hall. Harry really wanted
Seven of Nine to go with him. She was one hot babe.
Walking down the deck to his quarters, Harry saw Tom Paris waiting outside B'Elanna's
door. Paris had a dreamy look in his eyes as he sniffed a single red rose. Jealously
surged in Harry. He never understood what B'Elanna saw in Paris. But then, the young
ensign was the lover scorned.
He was also envious that the two officers had managed to find time for a relationship on
the starship Voyager. Maybe they even had sex! Harry shook his head hard to rid himself of
the image of the Klingon-style mating.
Ensign Kim missed San Francisco and his family. Everyday he missed his fiancee less and
less. Each moment he spent with Seven of Nine helped to erase the memory of the beautiful
brunette he left behind on Earth. Four years without a girl was a long time, thought
Harry.
Not watching where he was going, Harry walked into a petite woman. Startled, he looked
down. The young blonde woman was on the floor picking up a few items that had been knocked
out of her hands by accident.
The ensign had seen this person before, but always in Sick Bay getting patched up by the
Doctor because of small accidents. Among many of her accidents were tripping and cutting
her lip as a result, bumping her head on a table (she had a minor concussion from this),
getting her hand caught between the doors of Voyager, and the worst, shooting herself in
the foot with her phaser during a fight with the Hirogen.
Bending down to help her, Harry apologized. "Ensign Alexander, I am so sorry."
Ensign Alexander swung her long blonde braids behind her.
"Oh, it's no problem, really,"she said with a smile."
"Hmm," said Harry, wondering how Ensign Alexander could get in so many scrapes
and still be able to walk and function normally.
When he got to his quarters, Harry took a nap for several hours. His sleep wasn't exactly
dreamless. He dreamt that Seven of Nine had finally learned what a heart was for and had
fallen in love. Unfortunately, she had professed her profound love for Neelix, who had won
her heart by feeding her Talaxian aprhrodiasics.
"That was an awful dream," Harry mumbled to himself as he ran his fingers
through his disheveled hair. He swung his legs over the side of his bed and yawned. He
stood up and began to get ready for the gala.
Although he wasn't enthusiastic about Tom and B'Elanna feeding each other Talaxian fruits,
as they did last time, or seeing Chakotay looking at Captain Janeway with extreme
interest, Harry was anxious to go to the party. He clung on to the hope that Seven of Nine
had changed her mind. Even if she did not go, he figured he could talk with Tuvok, Neelix
(who missed Kes like crazy), and the Doctor.
Harry had to rush to the mess hall because he was fifteen minutes late. He never did
understand how to tie Windsor knots.
This was the only time he had missed Kes after her mystical dissappearance; she was the
only one who knew how to tie a perfect Windsor knot.
When he arrived at the party, Harry saw Tuvok doing a mind meld on Ensign Lewis, the most
neurotic member of the crew. Doctor appeared at Harry's side and introduced him to a
hologram of a woman that he created in the hours that Sick Bay was unoccupied. Doctor, not
knowing what to name her, decided to call her Woman. She didn't seem to mind, though.
Neelix was occupied with a female who looked remarkably like Kes. (Doctor created this
holographic Kes as well.) At one of the tables, Tom and B'Elanna stared into each other's
eyes. Janeway and Chakotay, at another table, were playing chess. The other crew members
milled around in pairs or small groups, discussing the weather
and food.
Thirsty, Harry walked to the punch bowl. Ensign Alexander was alone, sipping the Talaxian
brew out of a glass.
"This is my fourth cup," slurred Ensign Alexander.
Harry raised his eyebrows and said, "Fourth? Neelix puts too much liquor in that
drink of his."
He took the glass out of Ensign Alexander's hand. He saw that the young woman's diamond
ring was missing.
"In fifteen minutes, you had four cups of that drink?"
"Yes, I have every right to. Remember we got letters from our families and friends
from the station a little while ago?"
Before Harry could answer, the drunk ensign continued her story.
"I just read mine today. It was from Tim (That's my fiance, by the way.) Since
Voyager has been lost for four years, Tim thought I was dead and he married some woman
about a year ago. It's some barmaid from Heidelberg, Germany. Her name is Helga! Can you
believe that? A woman named Helga?"
She burped. Harry was speechless at the woman's inebriation and what it did to break down
her cool exterior. He hoped no one else heard what she had said about Tim. Or Helga, for
that matter.
"But," she went on, "I suppose it is all for the best. Dear sweet Harry, I
do so like you. I wonder why you wasted your time on Seven of Nine and B'Elanna. You don't
deserve them."
Reddening, Harry stammered, "uhhh..."
"'Course, I know that Seven of Nine is a very sexy Borg. Earth woman. Whatever."
Somehow, a fifth cup of Neelix's punch had found its way into Ensign Alexander's hand.
Reaching for the glass, Harry said, "Ensign Alexander --"
"Jill," interrupted the small woman.
"J-j-j-jill," stuttered Harry, unsure of what to say. "I, ah, think it is
time for you to go to sleep. And, ah, give me your drink."
Jill didn't seem to mind that Harry had told her what to do.
"Harry, I am so glad that Tim married that floozy."
Flabbergasted, Harry just stared at Jill's hair. Ordinarily worn straight or in braids,
tonight her hair was coiled in twin buns over her ears. Harry vaguely remembered that
hairstyle from a twentieth century movie. He couldn't remember the title, but it had to do
with a rebel force in another galaxy. And some guy who kissed his twin sister.
Harry thought to himself, "Jill is cute, but not when she is drinking Neelix's
brew."
Holding Jill's elbow, he brought her to her quarters. By this time, the drink had made the
ensign sleepy. Harry was relieved. He wasn't sure what Jill would do if she was not
falling asleep on his arm, making him half walk-half carry her into her quarters. He
dropped her on top of her covers and left the room.
As the doors to the room closed, he said, "Good night."
He decided to skip the rest of the party. It was just a waste of time. He went to his room
and called it an early night.
As he was lying in bed, he thought, "Maybe Ensign Alexander is the girl I've been
waiting for."
It was an idea worth entertaining.
That night, Harry dreamed that he and Ensign Alexander married and colonized a small
uninhabited planet in the Delta Quadrant.
